MyCounselor Says: Erectile Dysfunction…for Wives

Josh Spurlock

Question asked for Marge


Can you speak to the loneliness and rejection wives feel when their husbands are struggling with erectile dysfunction?

Answer by: Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST

Video Transcript

(Transcript is generated by a software and may have discrepancies from the video.)


Welcome to My Counselor Online. I’m Cassie and today one of our awesome counselors is going to answer your question. So let’s go find out what MyCounselor Says.


Welcome to my counselor online. I’m Josh Spurlock and today I’m answering a question from March. Who wants me to speak to the loneliness and rejection that wives Experience when their husbands are getting with erectile dysfunction wives oftentimes are the silent or behind the scenes victims.

In dealing with the struggle of erectile dysfunction that oftentimes for men that are dealing with struggles around erectile dysfunction there’s, there’s not an openness or wanting to talk about it, their shame. There’s feelings of inadequacy, which can lead to defensive responses that then shut down dialogue.

And so we’re both experiencing this wife oftentimes feeling not pursued not wanted not missing the connection of being able to share closeness with their spouse.

And husbands feeling that fear of loss of potency and and loss of identity that’s around their sexuality and so it creates this tension and conflict within the relationship that very often we just can’t talk about

And so there’s there’s very much in the relational Lee for the couple to get help and being able to, first of all, just be able to dialogue about what they’re experiencing So they can be on the same team and work through that struggle together rather than feeling alone and isolated and like they’re against each other or at best, they’re, they’re just not together in working through this.

So working through the communication piece is significant in overcoming the difficulty, but also the grief that exists on both sides, Both for a husband. That’s grieving something that’s lost there. But, as well as the wife grieving something lost within the relationship in order to be able to engage and really work towards solutions that can allow them to find healing with each other.


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