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Kristi says, “Is it possible to recover from sexual abuse and get to a place where you can enjoy that relationship with your spouse again?” Read more to find out what Licensed Counselor and Sex Therapist Josh Spurlock says about healing from sexual abuse.

TORI

Welcome to MyCounselor Online. I’m Tori, and this is Asking for a Friend. In this video, we’re sitting down with Sex Therapist Josh Spurlock to talk about the damaging effects of sexual abuse. Stay tuned.

Josh Spurlock on the Heartbreak of Sexual Abuse

Thanks for your question, Kristi. There’s a lot of people that have that same question. I appreciate your courage in asking it.

First, I want to say that I feel heartbreak and sadness around the struggle that you’re experiencing. It’s not fair that you and your husband are having the difficulties that you are. You didn’t ask for this.

Healing is Possible After Sexual Abuse

I do want to give you hope, because the answer to your question is a resounding yes. I work with folks all the time that have trauma and sexual abuse as a part of their experience, where the enemy has injured and wounded them in vulnerable and precious part of their life, and has robbed from them the ability to enjoy a gift that God desires for them to have.

God Desires to Restore You

It is a gift that God desires for you to have, and for you to enjoy for yourself and share together with your spouse. We can count on His help in restoring that and bringing life into what maybe feels dead right now.

And so I want to encourage you that it’s totally possible that we can understand the nature of it’s impact on you, how it gets reinforced and triggered in the present, and how to unpair those things in such a way that can enable you to have a truly meaningful and enjoyable connective and mutually enjoyable experience for the both of you.

I really would encourage you to lean into some resources that can be helpful to you in that. The longer that you reinforce old patterns, the harder they can be to unwind. And so, sooner is definitely better than later when it comes to seeking out help around these things.

Resources to Help Work Through Sexual Abuse

A place that you can start is a book called The Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz. It’s specifically written for the scenario that you’re talking about, for couples where one or both have experienced sexual trauma in their life, and helping them understand that experience and how its impacted them and walking them through a step by step process for being able to recover and reclaim that part of the relationship.

That’s a place that you can start. If you run into roadblocks along the way in that journey, there are Christian sex therapists that would be happy to meet with you, help troubleshoot the roadblocks that you’re running into, and help you find a pathway for healing and wholeness.

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