How to Increase Sexual Vitality in Marriage | #MyCounselorSays

Josh Spurlock


Kristoph says, “My friend has been married for 12 years and wants to increase the sexual vitality in his marriage. What are some things that he can do?”

Read more to find out what Josh Spurlock, Christian Counselor and Sex Therapist, says about the importance of growing in marriage and your sex life over time, and what resources he recommends to improve sex life in marriage.

About the Author

This article is based on scientific evidence and clinical experience, written by a licensed professional and fact-checked by experts.

Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Sex Therapists with over 10,000 hours of clinical experience. Josh specializes in Marriage Counseling and Sex Therapy. You can schedule an appointment with Josh for online counseling.

Video Transcript

(Transcript is generated by a software and may have discrepancies from the video.)


Welcome to My Counselor Online. I’m Cassie and this is My Counselor Says. My Counselor Says is where you submit a question, either for yourself, or for a friend,  and one of our incredible therapists takes their time and answers your personal question. So let’s go find out what My Counselor Says.

Josh Spurlock on the Importance of Growing in Marriage and Sex Life Over Time

Well Kristoph, I’m glad that you’re asking the question,  because marriage, and our sexual relationship in our marriage, requires us to continue to grow and evolve over time in order to stay alive and full of passion. It’s easy to get lulled into just going through the motions of life and relationship without really growing and enhancing year after year, so I’m glad that you’re thinking about this. 

Recommended Resources to Improve Sexual Vitality in Marriage

A couple of resources that I would point you out to would be a book called The Married Guy’s Guide to Great Sex by Cliff Penner. It’s a guide written directly and specifically for men about how to grow and improve their sexual relationship and sexual vitality. And so, the whole book is aimed at your question, and helping you understand how to cultivate a continually growing, evolving, and great sex life with your spouse.

From the same author Cliff Penner and his wife Joyce Penner, is the book Restoring the Pleasure, which provides a series of exercises that are designed towards facilitating conversation between you and your wife that will really help you guys be on the same page and work together towards learning and exploring new ways to enjoy your sexual relationship. 

Thanks for the question, Kristoph.


Thank you so much for submitting that question!  We certainly love to answer your questions. If you have a question for yourself or a friend, you  can submit it using our web page and then look for the answer in an upcoming edition of our weekly e-newsletter.

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