How to Increase Sexual Vitality in Marriage

This article is based on scientific evidence and clinical experience, written by a licensed professional and fact-checked by experts.

Posted: July 14, 2020

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

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How to Increase Sexual Vitality in Marriage by Josh Spurlock

Kristoph says, “My friend has been married for 12 years and wants to increase the sexual vitality in his marriage. What are some things that he can do?”

Read more to find out what Josh Spurlock, Christian Counselor and Sex Therapist, says about the importance of growing in marriage and your sex life over time, and what resources he recommends to improve sex life in marriage.


Welcome to My Counselor Online. I’m Cassie and this is My Counselor Says. My Counselor Says is where you submit a question, either for yourself, or for a friend,  and one of our incredible therapists takes their time and answers your personal question. So let’s go find out what My Counselor Says.


Well Kristoph, I’m glad that you’re asking the question,  because marriage, and our sexual relationship in our marriage, requires us to continue to grow and evolve over time in order to stay alive and full of passion. It’s easy to get lulled into just going through the motions of life and relationship without really growing and enhancing year after year, so I’m glad that you’re thinking about this.


A couple of resources that I would point you out to would be a book called The Married Guy’s Guide to Great Sex by Cliff Penner. It’s a guide written directly and specifically for men about how to grow and improve their sexual relationship and sexual vitality. And so, the whole book is aimed at your question, and helping you understand how to cultivate a continually growing, evolving, and great sex life with your spouse.

From the same author Cliff Penner and his wife Joyce Penner, is the book Restoring the Pleasure, which provides a series of exercises that are designed towards facilitating conversation between you and your wife that will really help you guys be on the same page and work together towards learning and exploring new ways to enjoy your sexual relationship.

Thanks for the question, Kristoph. If you have a question that you want to be answered by one of our counselors, submit it here!

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This article is based on scientific evidence and clinical experience, written by a licensed professional and fact-checked by experts.

About the Author
Josh Spurlock
Josh Spurlock

Josh Spurlock MA, LPC, CST, has a BA in Biblical Languages and a Masters in Counseling. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), holding licenses in MissouriColorado, and Florida. He is also a Certified Sex Therapist (CST), Level 2 AEDP Therapist, and an Ordained Minister. He is an Advanced Practice Clinician, with over 10,000 hours of clinical experience. He specializes in Marriage Counseling, Sex Therapy, Family Counseling, and works with Executives, Pastors, Business Owners, and Ministry Leaders. Learn more about Josh Spurlock at

Josh is currently unable to take on any new clients.

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