When Your Spouse Isn’t Supportive

Josh Spurlock


Kathy says, “I’m being sexually bullied by other women. My husband sees no proof and therefore won’t show support.” Read more to find out what Josh Spurlock, Counselor & Sex Therapist, says about what to do when a spouse isn’t supportive of your experiences.

About the Author

This article is based on scientific evidence and clinical experience, written by a licensed professional and fact-checked by experts.

Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Sex Therapists with over 10,000 hours of clinical experience. Josh specializes in Marriage Counseling and Sex Therapy. You can schedule an appointment with Josh for online counseling.

Video Transcript

(Transcript is generated by a software and may have discrepancies from the video.)


Welcome to MyCounselor Online. I’m Tori, and this is Asking for a Friend. In this video, we’re sitting down with Licensed Counselor Josh Spurlock to talk about sexual bullying, and how to feel supported in that.

Josh Spurlock on the Pain When a Spouse Isn’t Supportive

My heart goes out for you, Kathy. It’s a hard place to be in when you’re experiencing something that feels uncomfortable to you, and feels like you’re not believed by your spouse, the most important relationship in your life. I’m sorry to hear that you’re in that space.

All of us want to know that what we’re experiencing matters to important people in our life, and that when we bring something to them, they’re going to hear that and they’re going to care about that. Whether they see it the same way or agree with it, we want that to matter to them, because it’s significant to us and is impacting us. This is a core piece of our relationships.

Sharing Your Experience with an Unsupportive Spouse

If you can, it may be helpful to try to have that conversation with your husband, to say that, ‘you may not see it the same way that I do, or understand why I’m experiencing what it is I’m experiencing, but it’s really important to me that you would care about what I’m going through, because you care about me.’

Marriage Counseling can help a Disconnected Relationship

If that’s not something that you can talk through with him, there’s probably a real need to engage in some marriage counseling. That would help you be able to work through whatever the disconnects are in the relationship, that are preventing you from being able to care for one another’s heart in the way that we really long for in a relationship.


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