Six Reasons To Dive Into Counseling

Jesse Masson, MA, LPC
Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that you are reading this post. It’s understood that you are only inquiring to help a “friend” that you know who is experiencing emotional pain (*wink*). So here is some information that you can take with you to ensure the right decision to move forward in counseling … for your friend.

Why Choose Counseling?

Actually, before I get to that, let me say that I’ve “been there, done that”. Even after obtaining my counseling degree and professional license, I wasn’t readily willing to go to counseling myself. Whether it was my childhood scars, emotional calluses, or pride – I would rather offer the advice than declare my need for it. But I can honestly say that after being in counseling as the client, I have a better understanding of my past and present, and how it affects my relationships with others (especially my wife). So if you are anything like me, there is a great benefit to seeking out counseling.

Help to Succeed

Despite the negative stereotype men hold against counseling, it is really a great option to help you succeed. Counseling can be thought of as coming out of the game to get guidance from a coach who has been where you are and knows what it takes to win.  Your coach “gets it” and has helped many other couples in your situation.  Translation: you are ready to get back out there and be “in it to win it.  If you are already having some success, your counselor can help you continue to grow that success and do even more.  

Be Courageous

So get out of your mind that whoever reaches out for counseling is on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  Guys who get marital counseling have the courage to pursue being great a marriage.  This means they have the humility to be open to getting better. No man has ever been proud of being a lousy husband.  When was the last time you heard a guy brag to the office co-workers that he doesn’t feel in control of his emotions? It can be scary to admit to someone else that you don’t know why you feel a certain way, that you’re addicted to porn or your marriage is no longer functioning. Instead, men want to knock the ball out of the park in their marriage. 


Here are some reasons to choose to be successful in marriage:

  1. You’re confused.

     Sometimes our life has us up-side-down without us realizing it. It’s difficult to navigate what exactly we are facing or how its even affecting us on a daily basis. This is a good time to choose counseling.

  1. You’re not Superman.

     Despite feeling like it some days or having a successful business career, that doesn’t mean that you are able to navigate healthy mental/emotional steps all by yourself in your personal life. Don’t struggle alone, choose counseling to help yourself out.

  1. Your daily life is not the norm.

     Do you feel low, have irregular sleep patterns, or have atypical thoughts consume your mind? This can be a clue that your mental health is suffering. Get back to your normal health with counseling.

  1. Your relationships are suffering.

    Are you easily agitated with others who are normally close to you (spouse, friends, etc.)? Are you atypically withdrawn from social relationships? If this is your pattern, then it may strongly suggest that you should seek out counseling to regulate your daily relationships.

  1. You don’t have fun anymore.

     When your favored activities no longer hold pleasure for you, then that can indicate your moods are dysregulated. Finding a way back to your happy self again is a good reason to see a counselor.

  1. You’re addicted.

     Whenever there is something (gambling, sex, porn, alcohol, drugs, etc.) that you find yourself preoccupied with or pouring your resources into, that is reckless and unsustainable. You cannot be healthy when simultaneously not taking care of your present or future well-being.

Although these are valid reasons to choose counseling, it is always easier to have excuses for turning away from getting help – time, money, projects, and work – all will slide into valuable priorities, but managing your relationship health will lead to better returns in the long-run. Remember that it takes courage to seek out help.  You’ll thank yourself later.

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