How to Repair Broken Trust in a Relationship

Question:

Adam says, “My fiance went further in a prior relationship than I had been led to believe. She didn’t cheat, but thoughts haunt me, and I obsess over the details.”

This article is based on scientific evidence and clinical experience, written by a licensed professional, and fact-checked by experts.

IMPORTANCE OF Trust in a Relationship

It would be important to understand some more details surrounding this particular situation. But generally speaking, trust and safety are foundational in any relationship. And in order for any relationship to succeed, you must be able to trust each other.

When Broken Trust Fractures a Relationship

God created us for connection. We are all wired to need close connection with others, especially our spouse. So when hurt has occurred in the relationship, it creates distance, which then undermines the connection that we have in our relationship, resulting in significant pain.

And so, it is really normal that you would experience strong emotions or distressing thoughts when there’s been a breach to the trust and safety within your relationship.

Repairing Trust After it’s Been Broken

When there’s been a breakdown, we must take the steps to repair it. Oftentimes, what this looks like is creating a safe space to be able to communicate what it is we are feeling and experiencing, which include:

Creating the space to listen to our spouse or significant other without judgment.
Having a willingness to work through the wounds, towards forgiveness.
Making a commitment to working on communication with our spouse or significant other, which is going to safeguard us from things like this occurring in the future.

Because our emotions are so complex, situations like this can oftentimes be easier to navigate with the help of a counselor.

Thank you so much for your question, and I hope that you found this information to be helpful.

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