How to Have Healthy Relationships With Your Adult Children
Do your children want a relationship?
How has your relationship changed?
Transitioning And Letting Go
Identify Your Expectations of the Relationship
Identify Past Interactions
What is in your control?
Letting Go Of Control
You no longer have control over your adult children’s lives, unless they depend on you financially or if their actions directly influence you. If your adult children still depend on you financially, then you have a say in the way you assist them financially. For example, you have a choice of whether to pay their phone bill or not. If you are continuing to assist your adult children financially, it would help to take opportunities to allow your children to be responsible with earning, spending, and saving money. On the other hand, if your children’s decisions are directly influencing you, boundaries may need to be set. For example, if your child is living with you and he/she is not actively trying to find employment, you may need to state he/she will need to pay rent in a designated period of time if he/she has not found employment.
Therefore, as a parent of an adult child, it is important to remember you no longer control your child. At this point, you have the opportunity to view the result of your hard work as a parent to produce a (hopefully) responsible adult. If you find yourself needing or trying to control your adult child, it may be time for you to look at ways to work on these issues.
Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship
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