Tips for Successful Marriage Counseling

Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST

Given the big investment marriage counseling is, it makes sense to make the most of it. Here are some practical thoughts that will help you maximize your marriage counseling experience.

Don’t under estimate the damage.

Your marriage didn’t get where it’s at in a day, and it’s not going to get back on track overnight. It’s going to take time and work.

Don’t over estimate the damage.

There is hope even for the most severely damaged relationship. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed when you don’t know how to make things better. Keep your heart and mind open. Let your counselor help you discover the path to healing you’ve been unable to find on your own.

Come ready to work.

Marriage counseling is hard work. Your counselor does not have a magic wand that will fix your problems nor can he or she solve your problems for you. Your counselor can help you know what to do, but it’s up to you to do it.

Take responsibility.

Nobody can work on your stuff but you. If you’re not willing to make changes things probably aren’t going to change, no matter how much counseling you receive or how many books you read.

Understand the power of one.

The truth is you can’t change your spouse. Neither can your counselor. However, you can make changes in yourself that will influence your situation / relationships for the better. Your counselor can help you with that kind of change.

Don’t give up.

You cannot be defeated if you do not quit. Listen, the saying is true “the night is darkest just before the dawn.” Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better; this is normal. Expect things your counselor says to make you uncomfortable at first. Change isn’t easy, but it’s necessary for us to have the life we want.

Marriage is tough. No successful marriage exists without times of hardship and struggle. Yet, if these problems are left untreated they can lead to divorce or a legal marriage with a dead relationship.

Common Marriage Problems

communication problems dependency issues | financial stress | broken trust | emotional neglect | addictive behavior | emotion or physical abuse | separation | boredom | emotional infidelity | silent treatments | lack of fulfilling sex | midlife crisis | lack of appreciation | stubborn spouses | lack of affection

 

The truth is these problems do have the potential to destroy a relationship. However, they can also serve as a catalyst to get help, which in time can make the relationship healthier, stronger, and more satisfying than you ever could have imagined.

Take the first step towards a better tomorrow, today.

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